


One foot

by ravensday_crownight (shaardom)



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Casual, M/M, dealing with traumas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 03:58:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14011680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaardom/pseuds/ravensday_crownight
Summary: Adam is feeling low, so, Ronan helps him back up. It starts with getting out of bed, then performing a series of basic self-care actions.You know, the kind of things that feel exhausting on these days.---"Adam, get up. You're not even sleepy."





	One foot

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this after a bad period (two weeks or so) of full-on dissociating and surviving through life. I wish to say it's meant to bring some hope to people who may experience this (maybe not the dissociating part lmao but just feeling bad and unable to do basic things).
> 
> Also, the title is from the fun. song "one foot" because of that line (literally the chorus) that goes "I put one foot in front of the other one..." etc.
> 
> Thank God, Adam has someone to understand what the lows in life feel like. Anyway— enjoy !

"Adam, get up. You're not even sleepy."

Ronan, casually dressed in non-casual embroidered tight jeans and a classical black top, sat at the edge of the bed. There was a binder between them. Adam had willed himself to put some order inside and he had. Ronan was concerned as to why he had chosen to stay in bed to carry on with that task.

"What if I am ?"

"Then you'd be asleep already."

Adam pulled the sheets to his chin. Ronan reached out to pat his hair.

"Come on, Blue Eyes."

At least, Adam laughed. Ronan knew many old-fashioned ways to call someone love. He didn't push it, but he wasn't leaving Adam to wallow in whatever was keeping him down. Finally, Adam set the binder aside and scooted closer.

"Where is Opal ?"

"Hell if I know."

Ronan glanced at the door, hoping to see her shadow. Nada. Adam tentatively brushed the back of his hand. Their fingers end up lazily tangled. Ronan tugged at his hand. Adam sighed. It's not that he didn't want to be up and maybe help Ronan around the farm, or run around for his own business. He just couldn't.

"I can carry you around," Ronan suggested.

Adam laughed again, not as saying 'this is silly' but in a rather endeared way. He caught Ronan's arm above the elbow and tried to pull himself up. When he failed, Ronan leaned in to let Adam hug him and sat up, pulling him along.

"Thank you."

"One step at the time," Ronan nodded. "Ready ?"

Adam somehow didn't think that Ronan was serious about carrying him. Yet his arms were around Ronan's neck, his legs were around Ronan's waist and Ronan was steadying his grip on them before standing up.

"You're way too light for your height," Ronan pointed out.

"Everything is too light, because you're lifting heavy dream stuff all day long—"

Ronan was not steady on his feet yet. He heard Adam gasping in his ear as he headed to the bathroom.

"That's for discussing your weight," Ronan added, pretending that he had almost tripped on purpose. Adam nudged him in retaliation.

"I'll start filling a bath," Ronan announced. "Do not remain static for more than ten seconds." At this point, Chainsaw landed on the tap. "You heard me, if he stops moving for too long, you're allowed to poke him with your beak."

The raven croaked in agreement or something else. Adam protested and Ronan raised a brow, opposing that she wouldn't hurt him before leaning over the tub.

Adam rolled his eyes and turned to Chainsaw.

"No poking," he warned her before grabbing his toothbrush.

Ronan was back soon to hug him from behind, resting his head on Adam's shoulder. Adam found it comforting. But Ronan stepped back as soon as he was done, inviting him to strip.

Adam helplessly looked at the ceiling, feeling like life required too much effort if he had to stand or move on his own.

Ronan repeated that they'd go one step at the time. A step and he was in Adam's arms again, caressing his hair while whispering praise.

"You're doing good."

"You carried me to the bathroom and I brushed my teeth," Adam listed.

"You sat up and held strong while I was carrying you. It's not a competition and if it was, you'd earn a gold medal for every breath you take."

Adam didn't know what had gotten into him. Maybe traumas did that, sometimes, come back unprompted to kick him in the shins, as his father couldn't do it anymore. He undressed by himself, almost painfully. His shirt felt like it was weighed.

"Oh, Ronan," he sighed. "Why can't I snap out of it ?"

"You will," Ronan promised. "Go easy on yourself and let me handle the rest."

Adam stepped in the tub. He felt better after the bath. Ronan dried his hair, because he liked taking care of them.

"How short should I cut them this time ?" Adam asked.

"I don't know," Ronan answered, twirling a curl around his pointer finger. "I like them like this."

"It looks cleaner if I remove an inch or so."

"No more, then."

Adam pulled on the curl, loosening it again. "You should let your hair grow a bit, too."

Ronan agreed not to shave his growing stubble. They had a deal.

"Hungry ?" Ronan asked.

"A bit."

His stomach grumbled at this very moment. Adam placed his hands over it, as if to keep the sound from being heard. Ronan simply took his hand and helped him up.

Opal's look was always a bit weird and Adam couldn't tell what she thought about him riding Ronan's back.

"Vertigo," she said.

Adam let out a doubtful laugh. Had she made a joke about Ronan's height ?

"You little shit," Ronan muttered.

He got Adam to the kitchen and carefully let him step down.

"What are we making ?" Adam asked, grabbing a spatula.

"Scrambled eggs. And— I don't know, whatever is left to go along with that."

There was the choice between chicken and bacon. Ronan picked the fattest.

"Some of this," he took another spatula to point at the bacon's fat, "needs to get here."

He poked Adam's hipbone with the wooden tool. Adam shrieked and managed something close to "en garde!" and they inevitably engaged in a sword fight. Ronan was leading until the butter started frying in the pan, at which point he turned to actually drop eggs inside before the pan started burning and Adam poked the wrong side of his back, mimicking a winning stab.

"Et tu, Brute," Ronan sighed dramatically.

Adam replaced the clean spatula on the counter and held Ronan by the waist while the scrambling happened. It smelled like butter and eggs, which was a delight for empty stomachs. He didn't know about the bacon. To keep the fat, Ronan didn't make it too crispy. He was being serious about that.

"I'll set the table," Ronan said. "Go get Opal."

Adam went. Ronan had been afraid that he'd break a plate and hurt himself. They sat after Opal had washed her hands. Adam was very hungry, which was a good sign. He wasn't too far off.

"Thank you," he started.

"Eat," Ronan retorted.

To keep Adam's spirit up, he suggested something incredible which was to read Adam's fortune. Adam let him handle the tarot cards. Ronan's contempt was obvious, but Adam found it charming.

"I'm going to shuffle the cards, you tell me when to stop."

Adam watched him for a long moment. He still couldn't define love, but it should feel like that.

"Stop ?"

Ronan piled the cards and laid the deck in front of Adam. He handled the tarot cards maybe a bit too strongly. That type of decisiveness was used for every other type of game that involved cards— poker, maybe.

"How many should I pick ?"

"Two."

Adam laughed because he didn't know what kind of reading used only two cards. Ronan was winging it, so, he picked two.

"Want to know what it says ?" Ronan asked after flipping the first one.

"Yes," Adam answered.

"That there are ups and lows in life and it's fine to feel low, you're loved regardless and hopefully— safe."

Adam parted his lips though no sound came out. He was surprised. Ronan did not know how to interpret his wide eyes until Adam's feelings became overwhelming and that he had thrown his arms around Ronan's neck.

"Don't just— like that !"

"Don't what ?" Ronan asked, so relieved that he was laughing too. "Say that I love you ?"

Adam inhaled sharply. Ronan supportively rubbed his shoulder.

"No. You can say that as much as you want."

Ronan picked the second card.

"This one says that you shouldn't drink milk right now."

"Alright," Adam laughed. "Is juice good ?"

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe the part where Ronan takes it upon him to set the table needs more explanations, so, as Adam feels kinda weakened it was possible that he'd have dropped and broken something.
> 
> (I sure as hell did.)
> 
> If you've liked it, please consider leaving a comment !


End file.
